-think-
have you ever settle yourself down and have some moments all by yourself, think and ponder upon some questions and mysteries ? - I have. -
have you ever felt that you are alone even though you have many amazing and great(im serious..) people surrounding you everyday ?even at work, at home,in school, in a public area, in your room, at a party, in church or at the library ? - I have..am now..-
have u ever felt like you are in the middle of nowhere but you are always going here n there, attending to the many hussle of life ? have you ever felt as if you are hanging from the silence of brokenness ? - I have -
how about the time you felt like you want to spill every deep hurting secret out but for one moment, you paused,took a deep breath and tell yourself " NO! no one should know about this..this is too much!unfair for them..i can’t….." ? -always-
do you recall the time you feel like jumping off a building or stand at KLCC just to scream your lungs out ?but you cant because a little voice inside of you stops you…
How about a new heavier responsibility and higher expectation being places on your shoulders when you didnt expect it AT ALL ?? And you keep on telling yourself that you can do this WELL…and make other proud / happy of / for you..and another second, you feel so weak all over ! tears rolls down your cheek *blink tears away*puts up that fake cheerful face to hide your weakness*
With added frustration and doubts, you feel like you wanna quit just like that! But the other half of you convinced you to stay and take on the challenge, to be someone better, to walk this earth as a more mature person…
Have you ever been in those situations?
i have….i am now…
**sorry for the serious post i wrote**
February 2nd, 2007 at 8:13 am
hey mel…i understand how u feel right now..everyone felt tht way b4..infact me too..sumtime i hate myself too..haihz…but just pray,have faith in god..he loves you,mel..yes,he do..n u noe tht..cheer up ya..
February 2nd, 2007 at 8:29 am
You’ve got God on your side, no one will be able to take you down.
February 2nd, 2007 at 7:47 pm
“…think and ponder upon some questions and mysteries?” - Yes, all the time (that’s how i get my white hair)
“have you ever felt that you are alone even though you have many amazing and great…” - Yes, many times. Alone + Lonely. Not sure i even apply for the ‘have many’ part
“attending to the many hussle of life ? have you ever felt as if you are hanging from the silence of brokenness?” - Being busy for nothing, yes.. silence of brokeness, too deep for me to understand.
“how about the time you felt like you want to spill every deep hurting secret…” - I don’t really want to share it, i just secretly with that someone will ask me (but i might not tell anyway)
“do you recall the time you feel like jumping off a building or stand at KLCC just to scream…” - The building i WANT to jump off from is KLCC.
“How about a new heavier responsibility and higher expectation being placed on your shoulders…” - I only get those responsibilities sometimes but i always fail to do it properly.
“…other half of you convinced you to stay and take on the challenge” - Nope i just wanna quit!
Enough of me… Why you? Only people like me deserve to feel that way. You’re such a better person than me in every way.
Better spiritually, mentally and you’re confident and can plan well. I’m the total opposite.. Only thing i’m good at is using up oxygen!
Wait.. i’m going back to me again. No, seriously.. why? Please share.. we’ll see if we can help you.
Take care and God bless.. don’t turn into me..
February 3rd, 2007 at 3:07 am
hey mel!!!!!!
All the situations tat u stated i believe that we go thru everything or at least more than half of it..because we are at this point of age and this is the time where we will go thru “persimpangan dilema”…
Go and tell someone about watever u are going thru.. Don’t keep everything to yourselves or else you will burst one day…And I definitely won’t wanna see u BURST!!Just want you to feel that there are people beside u always! There are people like me who is not very good at consoling or responding to others.. I can only lend you my ear..
So,go and tell someone bout it!!!!
God Bless You!!!!